the silent spring

by measured in gray

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1.
you're a flower in my eyes and all flowers are beautiful until they die give them more water to grow give them too much and now you’re left all alone there’s nothing but the hole that you left inside my heart i'm tightening the knots but you're tearing them apart staring at the walls it’s my thoughts that you assault you fill me up with anger making everything my fault i can see you when i close my eyes make me feel so hopeless it’s your words that i despise you are so perfect, but when i bow down on my knees you shatter glass across the floor just to make me bleed i'm your machine, you make me feel all of your pain but its not perfect a flawed machine that you create i need to learn to think for myself i won’t admit that i need some help i'm growing restless, you keep me up at night today the sun dies ignorance is for the blind chained down, i listen to your song but you weren't singing to me at all
2.
i can’t change how i feel when the ones i held closest disappear in nothing but the blink of an eye i leave you all behind ripping flowers by the stem, my hands are full and my heart is filled with sorrow i won’t see you tomorrow look through me (you want it bad) destroy me (you want it bad) make me feel (like there’s always tomorrow) leave me be (you're in my head) let me think (you're in my head) you consume my memories (i watched them burn away) my thoughts of you are in pink just the way that you want them to be don't ever try to fly to everyone who’s left, this will be my last goodbye (as i look out in the cold the flowers died and i’m alone) I can’t find an exit i’m failing myself this is a cry for help but there’s nobody to hear me i can’t even speak my thoughts of you are in pink just the way that you want them to be my thoughts of you are in pink just the way they're supposed to be
3.
Leafreplica 02:25
i’m a burden to the one that left on my own since a child, that weight’s on my chest years of abuse and it’s a constant itch and there’s a hole in my memories, you’re a heartless bitch take it all away set you down with my pride you’ll never need it set you down, with my pride one more taste of my own days (left here) holding onto everything (can’t even watch me suffer on) find a place to hide away (left here) hanging on a memory (can’t even watch me suffer on) you never even cared about the lives that you left all alone only sixteen, my mother with a child that you won’t even call your own my childhood was postponed don’t leave me here please don’t leave me alone the pain i go through i don’t know how to feel alive

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songs of growth

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released December 16, 2019

written by measured in gray
recorded by chris rini at shellshock
mastered by brad at audiosiege
painting by brigette box

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measured in gray

was it greener?

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